I was ready. After 5 months of dancing in Gunsan to in the name of being a "better man." I froze up. I froze up because I was afraid I stood out, because I wanted the comfort of knowing where the nearest 찜질방 was so I could sleep, and because I was afraid of paying $60 for three beers I wasnt going to drink. I had a chance to do something, to improve and I backed down. I have no excuses. There should be no level perceived humiliation that I cant overcome now. I've lost an oppurtunity to go to a nightclub meet new friends and dance until dawn.
The day is coming when I will be too old for this wishing for a second chance only to make the same decision. I have do to this again, no matter the cost. I have to come back to Jeju for Dome Night and I have to do it whenever the situation rises. There should be no layers of reasoning or justification.
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